The Joys of Life

I wasn't sure that I wanted kids. I mean, I never planned on getting married, so I guess I assumed kids were not in the picture. That plan changed, obviously.

When we decided that kids were the next thing on the "list," it was a big adjustment for me. I struggled during my first pregnancy - like a mild mourning process. I felt like I was giving up what I could be. I felt like I, as I know me, was ending.

I'm fairly bright. I have a college degree. I like to build things, to take on projects, to plan things, to travel, to run as much of the world as I am able. I was born for big things.

I felt like everything was crumbling down. Life wasn't about me anymore. It was about this tiny little helpless person, and that's about all it was about for those first several months.

But maybe that tiny, little helpless person was a big thing. Maybe letting go of "me" and focusing on "him" and then "them" was really a big thing. Maybe understanding that I couldn't get through even a day without His help grew me. Depending upon the Maker of the Universe is a rather big thing.

I guess it all comes down to getting over yourself, depending on Him, and focusing on others. That's hard.

It sounds fairly simple. Maybe the concept is. But it's hard.